A dead Macaque monkey, elephant meat and reptile purses. No, I'm not listing the contents in a witch doctor's kitchen pantry. U.S. Customs officials seized those bizarre items this month at LAX, according to the L.A. Times. 

First a 31-year-old man coming from Nigeria brought on May 6 handbags made of African rock pythons, monitor lizards, dwarf crocodiles, cobra snakes and puff adder snakes. 

Then a few days later about a half-pound of elephant meat from Thailand and a dead Macaque monkey from Indonesia were seized. 

Everything is now with U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services officials, who are probably playing the weirdest dress-up game ever.

Karl Stefanovic may be terribly immature and also guilty of stealing his pranks from the movie "Anchorman", but I can't stop laughing at his latest stunt on a fellow reporter.

Stefanovic got into Roz Kelly's script, changing her teleprompter. Kelly was reading a story about the Chelsea soccer team beating Benfica in Amsterdam at the Europa Cup. After mentioning Amsterdam Roz said, "How good are the cookies there?" A line inserted by the sneaky Stefanovic.

The prank was so childish and stupid, but then again, so am I. That's probably why I've watched the clip 10 times. 

You'd expect a deer to die when you hit it with a big ass bus. But this driver in Western Pennsylvania must have hit a bionic deer because somehow the animal ended up alive and inside.

The public bus driver was moseying along his route when he hit the deer on May 14. The animal smashed the windshield and then entered the bus. 

After entering what he probably thought was a portal to another dimension, the frightened deer flailed around the bus. The equally freaked out driver then opened the door and freed the deer, according to USA Today.  

The animal ran into the woods, where if morphed into a super anthropomorphic deer that would plot its evil master plan to rid Pennsylvania of public transportation.   

The next time you hear a weird buzzing sound in your home, check the walls because there could be 40,000 bees living there. 

At least that was the case for Tyler Judd and his wife who about five months ago moved into a new home in Utah. First they saw random bees near the house. Then, Judd told KSL-TV, they heard the buzzing sound inside their bedroom wall.

That's when beekeeper Al Chubak was called in get to the bottom of the strange buzzing noise. It turned out that the Judds had been living in a home with 40,000 bees and a wall partially made of honey. Chubak sucked up the bees with his vacuum and licked a honeycomb that was probably laden with asbestos.

When the news crew and beekeeper left, the house was eerily quiet. A hole covered in plastic marked the now-empty bee colony. Before Judd drifted off to sleep, his wife rolled over in bed and whispered under her breath, "Told you so."

Jeff Bliss, a high school student who is obviously the reincarnation of Jeff Spicoli, had enough of what he viewed as a second-rate education (cue Pink Floyd "we don't need no education" song).

The long-haired 18-year-old gave a rousing speech that will go down in YouTube history. It all went down in teacher Julie Phung's World History/Asian American Studies class at Duncanville High School in Texas.  

Bliss told FOX 4 News he finally had enough after he asked Phung why her other classes got more time to take tests. In response, Bliss says his teacher allegedly used profanity and asked him to leave the classroom.  

"You want a kid to change and start doing better? You got to touch his freakin’ heart. [You] can’t expect a kid to change if all you do is just tell them," said Bliss on May 7 before exiting the class.

Video of Bliss' impassioned speech is being circulated across the Internet, but the teen says he doesn't want to be a hero.  

"I don't want people to look up to me as something to idolize or anything, I'm just as human as the next person," Bliss told Fox 4 News. 

That's so something Spicoli would say, maan!

The Duncanville Independent School District released a statement in response to the video saying, “As a district with a motto of 'Engaging Hearts and Minds' we focus on building positive relationships with students and designing engaging work that is meaningful. We want our students and teachers to be engaged, but the method by which the student expressed his concern could have been handled in a more appropriate way."

School officials are reportedly meeting with Bliss today. 

Now that we're done congratulating Bliss, I have to ask: Would everyone be rallying around his speech if he were a young black student? Or would we be condemning the outspoken black student as a rabble-rouser with a natural disdain for authority?

I'll admit it: I've made a few mistakes in my life. But never have I wasted my life savings on a carnival game like Henry Gribbohm who went to a Manchester, N.H. carnival and lost $2,600. 

"We were expecting to win a few things and, you know, let the kids have a good time. It just didn't turn out that way," Gribbohm told WBZ-TV News. 

Gribbohm was playing a game where you toss a ball in a tilted plastic pail. Seems easy enough, right? That's what Gribbohm thought as he eyeballed the top prize: an Xbox Kinect. 

Within a few minutes Gribbohm lost $300. That's when most people would stop. Not the determined Mr. Gribbohm. He went home, grabbed his last $2,300 and returned to the carnival, determined to get that ball in the plastic bucket once and for all. 

Gribbohm –– who, as a father, is responsible for children –– never won the Xbox Kinect. Feeling cheated, Gribbohm returned to the Fiesta Shows-run carnival the next day. He complained to the game vendor about his loss. The vendor gave him $600 back and an oversized, stuffed banana with dreadlocks. 

It should be noted that the Rastafarian banana goes for $124.24, with free shipping, on Amazon. 

Let's face it: the weather forecast is typically the most boring part of the news. Unless there's a natural disaster, most people watching the news go to the bathroom or the refrigerator when the weather comes on. 

Sometimes the weather is so boring even an inanimate object like the camera falls asleep. Lisa Hidalgo, with Denver KMGH-TV Channel 7 News, did a little jig when she was giving her forecast and the camera fell and filmed the ground. A true weather professional, Hidalgo dropped to her knees to give the rest of the forecast. 

Hidalgo’s performance on her knees was so popular that she will now give the weather forecast from a different sexual position every day. 

Stay tuned tomorrow for her piledriver forecast. It promises to be more stimulating than yesterday's missionary forecast.

Everyone in London is raving about a really old egg laid by a now-extinct elephant bird.

The partly fossilized egg was pooped out by an elephant bird in Madagascar sometime before the 17th century. It sold via telephone on April 24 for $101,813 at the Christie's auction house, according to the Associated Press.

Elephant birds, according to my detailed Wikipedia research, were about 10-feet tall and as big as 880 pounds. Their eggs are 160 times bigger than a chicken egg.

Meanwhile, chickens eggs are on sale for $.99 at Target this week.

Remember that surveillance video of that fat, bumbling burglar who threw a rock at a grocery store window and then tripped and ran away? The owners of Kent's Meats and Groceries in Redding, Calif. apparently have a pretty good sense of humor and decided to use that video for their new commercial.

"Kent's Meats and Groceries, award-winning New York style pastrami. So good some people will do just about anything to get more," the commercial said.

Is it just me or are you also suddenly hungry for ice cream? Just me?

Before you accept a bet to do the cinnamon challenge, consider the findings in a new research paper that say the game can cause serious health problems.

A new research paper published in the Pediatrics indicates that the cinnamon challenge can cause lung damage, lesions, scarring and inflammation of the airways. Cinnamon, which contains cellulose, can be caustic in the lungs.

Dr. Steven E. Lipshultz, the author of the report, says the rise in calls to poison control centers parallels the increase in YouTube videos made of the cinnamon challenge.

You shouldn't have to warn people not to huff cinnamon. But kids will even snort condoms these days for YouTube subscribers and views. What's next?